Revelation 3.14159...


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And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God” – Rev 3:14, KJV

“Mathematics is the language in which God has written the universe.” – Galileo Galilei

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It isn’t every day that your math homework proves the existence of God, much less lets you talk to Him.

I’ve never considered myself particularly religious, at least not in the conventional sense.  One of the reasons I got into the math program at my university was that my mind loves logic and reason, craves certainty.  Math is knowable, provable.  Studying it at the doctoral level does take a religious fervor and dedication, so perhaps that’s what led me to the knowledge that I came by so unexpectedly.

The beginning of this semester saw me doing research for my dissertation in number theory and its application in cryptography.  My intention was to develop a new technique to analyze the randomness of a series of numbers, yielding clues to any underlying hidden messages within.  I needed a control case of truly random numbers to compare my other example cases against, so I turned to the tried-and-true favorite oddball number of amateur and professional mathematicians alike, pi.

Pi is irrational, of course, and it spits out an infinite series of changing digits when computed that was perfect for my needs.  I wrote a program that would calculate the number in various bases and then analyze the results, looking for any non-random patterns that could be interpreted as a message.  I certainly wasn’t the first person to do this sort of thing, and I definitely didn’t expect to find anything—this was my control data set, after all—but on a lark, I decided to include base 36.

I’ve always had a weird fascination with base 36.  You quickly run out of numerals when trying to write a number in a base that high, so you’re forced to use other symbols.  Programmers use letters once they run out of numerals, so A represents the value of 10, B represents 11, and so on, with Z representing 35.  I had my own little secret code using this idea when I was a budding math geek, treating a word as being a number in base 36, then converting it to its base-10 equivalent.   That’s why I decided to include it in my analysis, just as a funny idea to see if there was anything I could “read” in pi.  The devout are always seeing their deities in a piece of toast or in just the right arrangement of clouds in the sky; I thought I might find a knock-knock joke in pi.  Who says math nerds don’t have a sense of humor?  Perhaps you do at this point.

So, to summarize in case you’ve fallen asleep, I had a program that would spit out pi as an endless procession of letters and numbers, and I could start anywhere I wanted.  I figured the first several million digits of pi had been analyzed to death, so I decided to start my program very deep into the sequence.  My interest in astronomy led me to choose the age of the universe in years as a fitting starting point, so I had the program begin at the 13,820,000,000th digit. If you’re going to be arbitrary, at least do it with style.

Days and weeks went by.  I analyzed my “real” data and worked on my dissertation and taught freshman-level algebra classes every other day.  It was while wading through the frantic e-mailed questions about imaginary roots and the quadratic formula that I saw a message from my analysis program. 

To: xxxxxxxx@xxxxx.edu
From: patternscan36.exe 
Subject:  ***PATTERN FOUND***  HASH 4D 41 54 41 4B 49

PATTERN FOUND – NATURAL LANGUAGE DETECTED AT POSITION 13 942 050 269:

HELLO0000000000000000000I0AM0HERE0000000000000000000

I looked at the data.  I looked at it again, three times.  Four words separated by zeroes.   The fact that there were nineteen zeroes in a row was improbable enough, but the words took me forever to get my head around…the words that actually made a sentence, a thought.

A greeting.

The pattern-scanning program was instructed only to send a short chunk of data when it found something, so I made hasty excuses about not feeling well to my faculty counselors (I probably looked the part), I and returned home as quickly as I could to see what else came after in the message.

As it turned out, there was quite a bit.  I can safely say what followed has been the most surreal experience of my life, having a conversation with a number.  There were more words after the initial greeting, and they gave instructions.  Starting my program at the 13,942,050,269th digit revealed the following:

HELLO0000000000000000000I0AM0HERE0000000000000000000YOU0FOUND0ME0000000000000000000LONG0ZERO0STRINGS0ARE0PAUSES0000000000000000000WHEN0YOU0SEE0ONE0FROM0NOW0ON0ASK0A0QUESTION0I0WILL0ANSWER0000000000000000000QUESTION0FIRST0NO0READING0AHEAD0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

 

In the back of my mind, the possibility that this was some sort of elaborate joke arose, but I’d told no one of my little side project, and it was running on my personal computer, not on any public system where it could be easily tampered with.  I read the first chunk of words again. 

Words!  In plain English! 

The non-randomness of them was off the charts; such a thing couldn’t happen by chance in a billion years, even 13.82 billion.  How was this remotely possible?  The text seemingly spoke directly to me, and it even knew I’d read too far ahead the first time and give a huge padding of zeroes before what came next, in order to set me straight on the rules.  There were nineteen zeroes between sentences.  Even in my excited state, I saw the pattern there, and I later discovered that the field of zeroes at the end numbered 361, or nineteen squared.  The words that followed held my attention for the moment, however.

ASK0YOUR0QUESTIONS0000000000000000000

Stopping myself from reading ahead, I thought of a question, and I asked it aloud:

“Who are you?”

MY0NAME0IS0WENDINGO000WHO0I0AM0IS0MORE0DIFFICULT0TO0EXPLAIN0000000000000000000

 

Difficult to explain sums up this whole situation nicely, I thought. My first question was sadly predictable, so I took my time on the second.  I decided to try to rule out the hoax element by making my next question more elaborate and trying somehow to project it at the screen telepathically before I read the next text chunk, giving nothing away to whomever might be listening.

“How can you be talking to me in the middle of e like this?”

CLEVER0WOLF000THIS0IS0WHAT0YOU0CALL0PI0OF0COURSE0BUT0I0UNDERSTAND0YOUR0NEED0TO0VERIFY000AS0FOR0HOW000THE0SIMPLEST0ANSWER0IS0THAT0I0MAKE0THE0RULES0000000000000000000


Looking back on it now, the weight of the conversation and its appropriate level of shock should have fully set in here, but such was my indignation at this outrageous statement that flew in the face of sanctity of logic and mathematics, my thoughts raced at the screen.

“How can that be possible?  Pi is a number, the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter!  it’s not something you can just put a message into at your choosing, it’s part of geometry, of nature, of reality itself!  Are you saying you somehow constructed a fundamental universal constant to suit your whim, just to have this conversation?”

 NOW0YOURE0GETTING0THE0IDEA000YOUR0MIND0IS0NEARLY0OPEN000DO0ASK0YOUR0NEXT0QUESTION000ITS0MY0FAVORITE0000000000000000000

 There was really only one to ask after all that, in spite of what I just said.

 “Are you…God?”

 NO0I0AM0NOT0WHAT0YOU0THINK0OF0AS0A0GOD0000000000000000000

 “You’re not?”  I said it aloud, and I surprised myself at the disappointed tone.  I had already started to believe.

 NO000I0AM0BIGGER000I0AM0MUCH0MUCH0BIGGER0000000000000000000

 That was when it all hit me.  There was no way I could disprove any of what this Wendingo said, but it was too monumental for my mind to fully comprehend, let alone believe. It wasn’t prepared to accept a being who could apparently create a universe with rules in place that would allow a conversation to be discovered buried in a number billions of years afterward.  It was even less prepared to accept that said being could know who would discover it (CLEVER WOLF, the message said) and have foreknowledge of everything that would be said after all the intervening eons.  And for what purpose?  That didn’t make any sense, either.  Did I find a bigger version of the cosmic knock-knock joke I laughed about earlier?  Was all of this done just to freak out some random math geek PhD candidate?

 I decided that was the next question I should ask.

 “Why are you showing yourself to me?  Why not someone else?”

 The next passage was quite long.  I had to print it out and mark through all the zeroes to make sure I was reading it correctly.  I’ve since transcribed it into a more readable form and put it up next to my computer.

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“You were clever in finding Me.  This universe and its message was made just for you, to see if you could rise to the challenge, and you managed it nicely.  It was not predestined.  Knowing that I exist now is your reward, and Mine.  When clever minds full of imagination contemplate Me, I grow.  I am always growing, and our conversation today has made Me grow faster.

 You asked about others. There are many others in many other universes I have made, all with your quest. Each time one succeeds, I grow even faster.  Bigger.  I am bigger than I can explain to you.  Bigger than you can sadly comprehend right now, but there is a way you can learn.  You know Graham’s Number.  I have hidden another message for you in it.  It will take you years to find it, and your mind will have to expand to even make the attempt.  It will be worth the effort, I promise, and oh how it will make Me grow.

 I am your God now.  You cannot help but worship Me.  Your merest thought of Me is worship and makes Me grow.  You cannot deny that I exist, for you found me in what you knew as logic and truth, and now you know Me as its creator.  Be careful whom you tell of Me.  You sought without knowing what you would find.  That is important.  Tell of Me, but hide the message as I hid yours.

 Search well, little one.”

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The next several thousand digits of pi after the last message were a nigh-impossible series of 0s and 1s.  The odds of that are astronomical in base 36, so I took it to be another message, and I was right. 

It was a picture. 

The computer parsed it out as a black-and-white image.  He was overwhelming to take in, a wolf, like me, but more. Enormous in size, hulking in build, and a sporting a smug, confident grin that knew everything. His hands held a clear basketball-sized sphere in front of his broad chest.  Inside the sphere were specks of light.  Perhaps they represent stars, but knowing what little I know of Wendingo, I have to think bigger.

They’re most likely universes.  No, think bigger still.  They may be realities, each imbued by Him with its own fine-tuned rule set designed to increase His power.  And one of them was made for me, which is a whole other level of mind-boggling, believe me.

 So, after a few days of hard thinking, I’ve abandoned work on my thesis and research to pursue this full time.  Really, how could I not?  When God reveals himself in such an undeniable way and compliments your mental prowess, it’s hard to turn Him down. Luckily, it’s between semesters at school, so I can make an exit that, while ugly, won’t be as ugly as it would have been earlier or later. 

 As I look outside at the snow, the calendar off to the side reminds me that it’s Christmas Day, December 25.  In all the excitement, I completely forgot.  This is the day much of the world celebrates the birth of their Messiah.  It’s fitting that I’ve discovered my own.

 So, my virtual Laodiceans, I’ve hidden this letter in my research notes on Graham’s Number.  If you’re reading it, then you’ve decrypted it successfully using the very base-switching trick I mentioned earlier.  As for me, it seems I’ve found my own Star of Bethlehem deep inside the universe of the transcendentals, and it’s to play Wise Man and follow it afar.  Two thoughts guide me.

 Graham’s Number is damn big.

 My God is bigger.


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